Granting children the permission to be themselves

Countless childrens books and parenting books tout the importance of letting each child be themself. They discuss the importance of allowing a child to be who they are, explore their interests and talents, and express their feelings in the way that feels "right." Young children still need some guidance, but it takes a parent stopping and listening to really know who their child is and is becoming.

The last three years I've watched my oldest blossom into the person he is becoming. He is outgoing, sweet, inquisitive, soft-hearted, and (not but) also strong-willed, active, loud, and more of a talker than a listener.

He has become a second set of hands for me and an eager helper.

And as time goes on, I hope I can take the time to really "know" my kids. I want to give them permission to be who they are and tell me what they think, even if we don't agree. I want to be supportive of the ambitious and trivial pursuits. And the same person to them in public as I am in private.

Looking back at my own life, it's especially important to me. Because I wish I'd had the same permission.

Knoxville moms weigh in on TIME magazine cover

The Knoxville Lisa Ross Moms Group, which I am a part of, was asked to come down to the birth center yesterday to give our opinions on the latest TIME magazine cover. The photo shows a 3-year old standing on a stool nursing, while his mother is posed defiantly looking at the camera. The headline reads, "Are You Mom Enough?"

The cover quickly spread through the media with nearly everyone spouting their opinions. Some were informative, many were anti-extended breast-feeding in some form and a few even took it to a sexual extreme.

Who knew so many (mostly parents and the majority other mothers) had such strong opinions on the "right" and "wrong" way to nuture a child?

In a world where mothers, adults, and even young people  march in the streets for the right to abort their unborn children, should that same society really give a mother who chooses to nurture her child in a very natural way for an extended period of time really get bashed so unashamedly? Who is anyone to tell any mother they must "cover up," "put it in a cup," or "hide in a bathroom" if she must do something so selfless as choose to provide nutrition to her young.

Sadly, formula companies have gained the lead in America with more advertising dollars and providing financial support and free formula samples to the midical community than natural parenting institutes. And slowly but surely changed the mind-set of modern America into a "can is better than the breast" mentality. While society feeds us images that sexualize women and their breasts as something to ogle. Have we really back-slid into believing breasts are only sexual? That they should be shielded out of sight if used as a feeding tool, only exposed in low-cut and sensual clothing? Really?!?

Yes, pretty much.

I packed up the kids and joined the discussion yesterday. Here is a link to the story that followed: http://www.wate.com/story/18323121/knoxville-moms-discuss-time-magazine-breastfeeding-image-controversy

Our Charlie Brown Christmas tree

A boy, a jar, and a tree.. the makings of a fun afternoon

Cranberries, cinnamon, twigs, and the table

This year, I've decided to make the holidays simple. That means lots of homemade presents, a small spread of gifts under the tree, holiday outings like going to the local Christmas parade, and a table setting that also says "simple" but elegant.

I've always wanted to try putting small bits of things in glass and placing them on a table. This is my version of the idea on a green table runner. I may add a tablecloth but haven't found the right one so I may use an antique crocheted one I have.

The glasses are holding cinnamon sticks, crranberries, and twigs with yellow berries. On the table are a few pine cones and clear ornaments.

Even with how busy my day is, this was easy to do.

Fa la la la la



I made a wreath! Thanks to an incredible Black Friday weekend sale at Michael's, I bought all my supplies for under $10.

I couldn't believe the sales they were having or that by Sunday night the store wasn't very picked over. And since two things make me very happy-- a great deal and a craft project that turns out-- it made my holiday and made up for the long lines at the mall the day before.

The ribbon is glued, but the rest is able to be taken out if i decide to decorate differently next year.

Here's the rough break down:

Wreath: $4

Berries (cut from one stem): $1

White twirly sticks: $1 for a bag

Ribbon: $2 for this piece

Gold ball bunch: $0.89

Tomorrow? Off to spend my JC Penny coupon for $10 off a purchase of $10 or more.

'Cause that's what friends are for

Waste not, my friends

I hate waste. This includes wasted food (when you order too much and don't bother to take it home or buy more food than you can eat before it spoils), wasted time, and wasted resources.

Right now I'm talking just about the waste that pollutes our planet and gets hauled out to the curb where we want to think it "magically" disappears. This is the wasteful society we've adapted to living in. It's a mind set where people feel entitled to doing things the way they want to and using the products they want to when a simple alternative would be less harsh on the environment. America is in love with her bad habits.

I've lived in a few environmentally-aware communities over the years and have developed habits that now come naturally to me. So natural that when I see other alternate practices I've since turned from, it makes me cringe. Sometimes, it makes me angry.

Here are a few examples.

To me, it just makes sense not to use paper products. I keep drawers of towels and rags on hand for different purposes. When my family wipes our hands, we use a towel. When you make a spill, you grab a rag. When I clean, I use an old t-shirt. Paper towels don't exist in my world. Because they aren't necessary.

I know it's a big step for most moms, but I've transitioned to mostly using cloth diapers and using washable wipes on the baby. I feel better about the decision and don't feel it's any more work, and saves us a lot of money every month. Besides, I never run out!

I don't take shopping bags. One of my good friends gifted me with a purse-size bag full of re-usable shopping bags. The product is genius and always on hand so I don't forget at the check-out line. What I find exceptionally irritating though is when I hand one over to a chashier and she proceeds to THROW AWAY the bag I'd be saving. There are items like meat products that I bag in plastic, or times a plastic bag will make it home with me. These are used as garbage liners, pet waste recepticles, and for dirty diapers on the go.

While I applaud the efforts of so many people who recycle religiously, or not so frequently, recycling just isn't the "end all." It's time to take a closer look at the waste in our lives. Recycling is just a small attempt to solve our waste issue. What we need to evaluate are those tricky little habits of convenience that wreak havoc on our planet and continue to be dumped into our landfills.

That's not to assume I see myself as in any way superior. I certainly still have a lot of things I could do differently.

I love my car just as much as the next person. I don't think twice about hopping behind the wheel for the slightest reason and zipping around town. I'm not ready to give up my daily drives or my SUV that's far from low emissions.

Unlike the neighbors, our house doesn't have solar panels. We don't raise our own chickens. Right now we don't even have a garden. (Yes, these neighbors do have a no emissions vehicle parked out front.)

Despite my non-use of plastic bags and paper towels, there are plenty of other products I toss in the trash.

But I value the thoughtfulness and desire to understand the issue. Being aware of environmental impact is a step forward and allows me to make a conscious decision to cut down on what I can.